From the Collingham with Harewood Parish Magazine - November 2009
From the Vicarage
I always feel an air of sadness about this time of year. It’s a time that evokes memories of being a little girl, polishing my Dad’s medals before he went to parade with the Royal British Legion on Remembrance Sunday, and memories, too, of his friend, Tommy, who frequently staggered around in an alcoholic daze, but of whom my Dad would take no criticism, saying, “Tommy spent his war in submarines - he was never the same after that.”
A shocking theme about armed services in any war is age: the age of those killed or wounded, the age of returning ‘veterans’. This strikes home even more now that I have a son of 21 who wants a career in the forces and I realize that my Dad was just 18 when he went to war. Even this week, there have been losses of young men in Afghanistan and there are many, also young, who have been horribly injured.
A few years ago, I took my Mum and my son to Normandy, to see where my Dad had landed on D-Day. My poor Mum cried all over Normandy, but she wouldn’t have missed it for the world. It was her way of honouring those of her generation who had died; she wept in the German cemetery, just as she did in the British and American cemeteries, at the scale of the loss and the realization that those who had died were just boys.
To those who protest that Remembrance Day is about glorifying war, I would reply that it’s about exactly the opposite. It’s about remembering all the lives lost in, or cruelly damaged by war, so I make no excuses for the prayers that I say for our Armed Forces, or for the tears that I shed when another young body comes home, carried in a box by his comrades.
Holy God, Receive those fallen in battle, and all innocents who have died: surround their loved ones with compassion, and give them a patient faith. Amen
Kathy Couchman
(P.S. I’m putting together a shoebox parcel for the Support our Soldiers Christmas Parcel Appeal. If anyone would like to join me, please ask me for details or see www.supportoursoldiers.co.uk )
From the Collingham with Harewood Parish Magazine - September 2009
From The Vicarage
When we bought our house in Wetherby three years ago, one of the things we loved most about the place was the number of trees in the garden and the surrounding area. It gave the impression of being in woodland, though it’s only a few minutes from town. Some of the trees have Tree Preservation Orders, but that wasn’t a worry, as we could never picture ourselves wanting to do anything to them. We have now discovered that one of the trees is diseased and likely to become a danger in the near future, so we have to have the tree cut down. The council has given permission, on condition that we replace it with another tree, which seems only right to us. After all, it may be ‘our’ garden, but many of the trees are likely to still be there when we are dead and gone, so any sense of ownership that we may have is really rather over-inflated. We are, in fact, only relatively short-term caretakers, or stewards, looking after the garden on behalf of others.
A Christian understanding of the environment views human beings as the stewards of God’s creation. The question is, how do we respond to God’s generosity to us? I came across the following words from Dostoevsky’s novel The Brothers Karamazov which seem to explain it as it should be:
‘Love all of God’s creation, love the whole, and love each grain of sand. Love every leaf, every ray of God’s light. Love animals, love plants, love every kind of thing. If you love every kind of thing, then everywhere God’s mystery will reveal itself to you. Once this has been revealed to you, you will begin to understand it ever more deeply with each passing day. And finally you will be able to love the whole world with an all-encompassing universal love.’
Why bother about one tree? Because we should; because care for the world can start with care for one living thing.
Kathy Couchman
From the Collingham with Harewood Parish Magazine - June 2009
As I write this, all over the country there will be school children and students preparing for and sitting exams. If we are parents of these hard-working young people, we may be with them every step of the way, supporting them through their stress with regular cups of hot chocolate, but we could well have forgotten how it actually feels to sit in an exam hall and be told, 'You may now turn over your paper and begin'.
Last year, for the first time in many, many years, I sat an exam for a Psychology course I was taking. The first thought that struck me was just how old I felt. The second thing that struck me was that, apart from the first thought, there appeared to be nothing going on in my brain! Nevertheless, it was a useful experience and, let me remind you, it can be a very scary one.
So, what kind of messages should we give our children who are going through this at the moment?
Do they really need to hear that their future depends on this, or that we will be disappointed in them if they don't do well?
Well ... maybe just a little more patience than usual will be more helpful, along with letting them know that we'll love them just the same, no matter what. Patience, love, hot chocolate, and a prayer for God's peace to be with them as they walk into the exam hall.
Kathy Couchman
From the Collingham with Harewood Parish Magazine - May 2009
Vicar's Report 2008/2009
As in previous years, we have enjoyed a wide range of services. Special services were held at Christian festivals, Carol services, Mothering Sunday, Harvest Thanksgiving, and the Summer Service and Gala - this last one being very well attended (we estimate 300 at the service in the Glebe Field with an additional 400 coming to the Gala which followed).
At Harewood the congregation has increased, with children present once again. At St Oswald's we are often short of space - if only the walls would stretch! As in previous years we are working closely with Collingham Methodists and continue to share services and local events. In so doing, we share the joy of knowing God's love for us all and welcome others into that fellowship.
Church members are involved in many different ways in our community and we are in the process of a consultation which aims to find out where we are as a church, so that we can build on what exists. The next stage of this is to ask our community what they would like from us, as the church in their midst.
To ensure that we meet the needs of all, there is to be a new service trialled for the next six months - a Contemporary Communion Service. This is in addition to our current range of services. It will be held once a month and it is to be more informal, with a different style of music. The service will evolve depending on comments and suggestions from those who attend.
Both St Oswald's and Harewood Chapel continue to welcome children and young people from the local schools and organisations to come and learn more about what goes on inside Christian places of worship.It is a joy to be invited into the schools to lead Collective Worship and as special guests at other school events.
Weddings and baptisms continue to bring joy to all of us, but as part of life we have also been saddened by the deaths of dear friends who have been members of the congregations for many years. I hope that in the coming year, St Oswald's and Harewood Chapel members will continue to welcome others into the church community and commit themselves to serving others in whichever way God calls them to.
The thanks extended at the annual meetings are too numerous to include here, but I would like to extend my thanks and admiration to Doug Masterton who is retiring as Treasurer after keeping the church on an even financial keel for many years.
Last but not least, my thanks to Kathy who joined us as Curate last summer. It has been a great privilege to be able to work together across the Parish of Collingham with Harewood and Spofforth with Kirk Deighton. I know our congregations have much appreciated Kathy's ministry in this place.
As we look back over the last year with gratitude, may we look forward with hope, as we seek to do God's will in this place.
God bless you all.
Maria Pallis
From the Collingham with Harewood Parish Magazine - April 2009
I came across this poem many years ago when I was on retreat at Barrowby House in Kirby Overblow just before Easter. Try replacing 'Birmingham' with any other town or village name. It certainly made me think ...
When Jesus came to Golgotha,
they hanged Him on a tree,
They drove great nails through hands and feet,
and made a Calvary;
They crowned Him with a crown of thorns,
red were His wounds and deep,
For those were crude and cruel days,
and human flesh was cheap.
When Jesus came to Birmingham,
they simply passed Him by,
They never hurt a hair of Him,
they only let Him die;
For men had grown more tender,
and they would not give Him pain,
They only just passed down the street,
and left Him in the rain.
Still Jesus cried, "Forgive them,
for they know not what they do,"
And still it rained the wintry rain,
that drenched Him through and through;
The crowds went home and left the streets,
without a soul to see,
And Jesus crouched against a wall,
and cried for Calvary.
(G A Studdert-Kennedy)
May God bless us all this Easter time.
From the Collingham with Harewood Parish Magazine - March 2009
Did you know that our mission within the Parish is:
‘...to nurture the life-long worship of God
in a relevant and meaningful way
by sharing His love and making a positive difference
to everyone in the community’?
Our PCC (Parochial Church Council) has been looking at how we can put this mission into practice within our parish. I’m sure there will be a wide variety of views amongst us as to what the word mission actually means in a practical sense, and some of it might really worry us. Does it mean: standing in the street ‘Bible-thumping’? Or going to other parts of the world, where there are big spiders and no running water? Does it mean door-knocking, being put on the spot about your faith and being involved with a kind of evangelism that is grossly uncomfortable to you?
Well, to me, mission simply means: taking out the message of God’s love through Christ, by showing that love to people in practice. It seems to me that most people, and especially those at a difficult point in their life, need to be shown love before anything else...then maybe we will have the privilege of being able to speak about our faith as Christians, if people want to know more about why we are loving them.
God's mission is about transformation - transforming individual lives, transforming communities and transforming the world. If we're going to be serious about mission, then, to my mind, we have to ask ourselves, as a church, some sharp questions: why, and for whom, does our church exist? What do we have here in church that is good, and what are we going to do with it? Where do we go from here ... or, are we fine as we are?
As a first step, we will be finding out how our congregation feels about what happens in and around the church now, and what people might like to see happen in the future. We will be starting a 'Review and Consultation' exercise, initially just with our congregation, on 15th March 2009. A short survey will be sent to everyone on the church's Electoral Roll (the cost of postage has been donated, so it won't come from church funds!), and there will be extra copies available in church and via this website. We will ask for the completed survey forms to be returned by 17th April 2009 and a report on the results will be made available in church in June/July. Then we can get on with the job of '... sharing His love and making a positive difference to everyone in the community'. Do, please, join us!
Kathy Couchman
(Curate at St Oswald’s)
From the Collingham with Harewood Parish Magazine - February 2009
As we were taking down the Christmas decorations early in January, I decided that after six years it really was time to change the Vicarage living room around. So after packing away all the baubles, tinsel and lights, and recycling the Christmas cards, the whole family set about moving furniture around. We were not quite sure how to re-arrange things so for a few hours the room looked like the proverbial bomb had hit it. Eventually after much discussion it was straight once more.
It made sense that as we dusted and vacuumed we also had a look in cupboards and sorted out videos and books. Amongst the cartoons and films we found a box with home videos which Mike and I had taken of the children over 15 years ago. None of us can remember watching them for years. As you might expect, we then spent the rest of the evening catching up.
Photos don't quite have the same effect as a moving picture. My children couldn't get over how odd we all looked, hair, glasses, clothes; it was, after all, the end of the 80s. (The last one was taped in 1994 when the camcorder broke and we never replaced it.) For Mike and I, it was a real trip down memory lane. As well as seeing my two grown-up children as babies again, there are people on those tapes who have sadly since died. I must admit that seeing them and remembering made me feel somewhat nostalgic.
Time has a habit of going past too fast and once it is gone, it cannot be recaptured. The tapes have given me much joy, and I now want to keep them safe forever because of the memories that they contain. This reminder of normal family 'stuff' from years ago has made me more aware of the passing of time and how each moment is precious. We cannot go back and recapture our youth but we can appreciate the here and now, however ordinary and even boring we feel our 'now' is.
In God's love, Maria
From the Collingham with Harewood Parish Magazine - January 2009
Have you made any New Year’s resolutions? If you have, are you a bit like me – making resolutions one day and abandoning them the next? I started out last New Year determined - absolutely determined - to eliminate chocolate, sweets and cakes from my life (again!) and to become a more healthy weight....12 months later and I’m 10 lbs heavier and I could keep Cadbury’s in business single-handedly.
Resolutions, whenever we make them, are all to do with things that we’d like to change, to do differently. Some may be flippantly made, but others may be essential for life. We can declare our intention, but unless we really have the desire to change, we’ll be stumped. Then, if we have the desire, we need to be prepared to ask for, and to accept, help. If we try to do something alone, it may prove to be beyond us. I realise that in the times of my life when I struggle and feel a sense of defeat, it’s usually when I’m trying to act in my own strength alone and that’s just not enough. Sometimes we need other people; always, whether we know it or not, we need God.
Organisations such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), which help people to recover from addictions, are based on principles of fellowship – alcoholics who no longer drink helping fellow alcoholics who still drink but want to stop. AA is based around the need for support from others; the only requirement for membership is the desire to stop drinking. It’s worth noting that their approach to recovery is based on ’12 Steps’, which describe the experience of the earliest AA members who ‘‘Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.’’
God, as I understand Him, is the one to whom I can turn when I remember that my strength alone is not enough. Perhaps that’s the only resolution I should make – with my will and my life in His care, perhaps then, all other things will be possible.
Kathy Couchman
(Curate at St Oswald’s)
From the Collingham with Harewood Parish Magazine - December 2008
Every year I find that Christmas has come round much more quickly than I expected it to. When I was little, it seemed that the wait for Christmas was unending. Maybe it's to do with getting older.
For Christians, December is a month of contrasts. We keep the season of Advent, when we take time to prepare spiritually for the coming of Jesus. In church there are no flowers, the music is more reflective and we try to understand a little more, through the Bible and through prayer, the enormity of God's gift to us. Then on the 25th, Jesus' birthday, we decorate the church, remembering what happened on that first Christmas Day and we celebrate the birth of Jesus with joyful songs and uplifted hearts.
Of course Christmas for most of us (despite the credit crunch) will also include the presents, the occasional festive drink, good food, probably shared with family and friends, and all the other traditions which we have grown up with. Every family has them, even if you don't call them traditions. Some families have Advent Calendars, some will put the Christmas tree up on the 1st of December, others leave it until Christmas Eve. Some open presents at the crack of dawn, some after breakfast, and some very restrained people manage to wait until after Christmas lunch! Santa sometimes gets a mince pie and a glass of milk, or a slice of cheese and a glass of brandy. Sometimes the reindeers have a carrot!
All these things make Christmas special for each of us, and can be poignant as we remember past Christmases and absent loved ones. In churches across the area there are an amazing variety of services especially for the season where everyone is welcome. It really doesn't matter if you are in church every week, or if you haven't been for years or maybe never. Everyone is welcome. This year, why don't you "Come and join the celebration!"?
In God's love, Maria
Maria, Mike, Luke and Annie wish everyone a peaceful and joyful Christmas.
From the Collingham with Harewood Parish Magazine - November 2008
We've just been through that time of year when huge changes take place in family life - children starting school, moving to 'big' school, or leaving home and setting off for university or college. By now we may be settling into a new 'normality'.
Maybe, for those whose children have set off into the world as young adults for the first time, you are beginning to get used to the quietness where the playstation used to roar, or to the space in the hall where a pile of lad's shoes, as big as boats, used to sit in a heap. Or maybe you are still feeling the rawness of the gap where your little boy or little girl used to be.
Time flies. My son is now twenty and in his last year at university, yet it seems like only yesterday that he was a little boy holding my hand. I went over to his flat the other day and he cooked our meal. When I left, he told me to text him when I got home so he knew I was okay!
So when did that happen ... when did he grow up? Actually, if we're honest, many of us would prefer to wrap up our children in cotton wool so that the dangers of life could not reach them ... Well safe they might be, but they would not be where they should be - in the world, making their own lives.
As soon as babies can move, they begin their journey away from us, testing how far they can go before we go and pick them up; one day they will walk away ... and that's how it should be. It's hard, but with our blessing and our love ... and with the knowledge that they are always welcome back.
I see our relationship with God in the same way - with him as the most caring of parents, who loves every one of us, yet allows us to go off into the world so that we can grow up. We may not contact him for a while, we may be far too busy with our own lives, we may forget to 'ring home'; but whoever we are and whatever we've done, when we do go to him, he will be waiting to welcome us back into his very loving arms and to say 'It's lovely to have you home'.
Kathy